"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
