what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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