Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
