I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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