none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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