Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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