another moral hangover. fuck.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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