so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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