i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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