ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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