That's intense
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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