Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You made out with two different species that night
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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