It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
