Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
