I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
