You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize