your room smells of hookers.
And success
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I stole a fireplace last night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
