My Higher Power is John Stamos
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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