hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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