I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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