meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
