i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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