He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
