The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
