the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
