You made me cry and you don't even care
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
