Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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