just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
