i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
