First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
