I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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