it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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