For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Holy shit dude........stairs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
