wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
