The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize