I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
