i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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