are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
