one might say we're banned from that church
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
