You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
