What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
