NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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