The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love having hate sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
