I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
