I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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