I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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