The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
