The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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