she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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