I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
