Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
