So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
