this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So squirting runs in the family.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize