so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
