Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
