Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
