i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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