So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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