There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
