I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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