I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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