the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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