Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
