i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
